Dancing

Watched Dancing with the stars today. Inspired me to be more active. Danced for 15 minutes felt wiped out. Seriously thinking about taking a ballet class. Am I crazy? I don't know. Maybe.

The Hunger Games

Well I finished reading the hunger games. Its one of those books that are brutal and bloody, but you just can't put it down. I'm glad I read it though. It was a good read and worth the $6.29 that it cost. I don't know if I will go see the movie or not, but glad I gave the book a chance. Thats about all for today. I have a screaming colic baby to take care of now. See you later.

Courageous

So I just finished watching the movie Courageous with my husband. I think I cried like 3 times in that movie. It was really good. I know its aimed towards fathers,but makes me really want to be a better mother and to be thankful for every moment I have with my children. I know that I have a sacred calling as a mother and I can mold my children and teach them to grow up in love and righteousness.

Anyway, today was a pretty good day. My mom took Elizabeth to the Primary pancake breakfast. Elizabeth came back super happy. I got some laundry done and spent some one on one time with beautiful Sophia. She really has the sweetest smile in the world. Also dyed my hair. Dark brown!!! Ah.... Way too dark. Tomorrow I'm putting highlights in my hair hopefully before church. Started reading the Book The Hunger Games. So far so good. I'm only on chapter 4 so nothing too exciting has happened yet. As part of my happiness project I want to start doing the things that I used to love doing and reading is one thing I can pick up again easily and still be a mommy. Also I have started singing again, yes 99% of my singing is to my children and half the time Elizabeth tells me to stop, but it feels good to sing. I'm not hiding my talents anymore. I can tell you now I'm a pretty good singer, and I don't mind so much anymore if people hear me sing. 
Well I think I'm doing pretty good on my happiness project. I've been blogging more than I thought I would. And I'm really struggling with not nagging my husband and excepting that not everything has to be done in my time. Some things don't make me feel so happy in the moment, but when the day is done I realize not giving my husband a lecture actually saved from another argument. So what I didn't get done what I wanted to do and my husband didn't do everything that I wanted him to do today, but at the end of the day are we any worse off? I don't think so. We have our issues and have a lot to work on, but we can't be perfectionists all the time.
Alright I should go to sleep now because none of this is making much sense.

Mortality

Since I gave birth to Sophia, I've been thinking about my life a lot more.When I delivered her I hemorrhaged and I came so close to death having her I still feel scared for my life when I think about that day. But now a question comes to mind that I never really though about before because I was so naive and thought that I was immortal. What if I did die? What would happen to my babies? What Legacy would I have left for my children? It's so depressing to think about, but such an important thing. In the end all anyone has of you is memories. what kind of impression would I have left for my children? Who would raise them. I can tell you now that it would be a battle of custody between my husband and my mom. I know in the end they would go with Jason and with him back to New Jersey. Which is OK, Jason's family is wonderful and they would love those girls so much, but it makes me feel so sad because I know I would be forgotten, my family would be forgotten. and I guess that's what worries me now.

I didn't die. I have a chance to make things right and make a plan for my children. I am going to live my life so my children will know who I am. I will not be forgotten! I want my children to have good memories of me. I want to make sure my children will be taken care of no matter what happens. I want my family to be bonded so that when a disaster does strike we will be strong enough to get through it. I want my children to know that families are forever that I will be there for them through it all. I want my children to grow up in the gospel and have love for one another. I want them to be happy.

This is a work in progress. I know that I am going to have to do my best everyday to improve the life of my family. But it will be worth it.

Be thankful in all things.
laughter is the best medicine.
Families can be forever.


Elizabeth Esperanza and Sophia Rachel Rose, You are wonderful. You are smart you are loved you are important! Please know that I love you. I always will love you.

Becoming a designer

Alright so the people that have blogs have all these super cute things on their blogs like they have specialized backgrounds and music and pictures on the side, not just in the post itself. HOW DO I DO THAT!!!? I want to have a super cool blog too. I just dont get how people do it. I'm sure I'll figure some of it out as time goes.

On the other hand, Im getting my blogging in early today because..... The babies are sleeping! Those beautiful little girls are wonderful, but too smart. They know the comfy place is in bed with mom and dad. So yes they both slept in our bed last night. I think we may need a bigger bed soon!

Thats all for now folks.

This is a quote from one of my favorite childrens stories. I love you forever

The Happiness Project

My mom and I are reading a book called the happiness project. It basically sets goals on a month to month basis that are supposed to help you find happiness. one of the goals for march is to start a blog. I have always wanted to do blog but never really have followed through. This is a good goal because it will give me a challenge while giving me something that I can mostly control and is a novel concept to me so its something that will keep me learning and busy and therefore a little bit happier.
    I want to do this everyday, but know I probably wont. Some other things that I'm working on are:
- Going to bed earlier. This is a really big one for me because having a new baby really throws you off. I'm trying to get Elizabeth in Bed between 9-9:30 because for the past 2 months she has been going to bed when I go to bed.And Sophia, well right now just getting her to sleep before midnight is a huge success. 
- Excersice more: I really want to get my body back. Having a new baby makes this hard but I know the more I physically do the sooner I'm going to feel better.
- Quit Nagging: I'm going to try not to Nag Jason about every little thing that I want done.
- Show more love: I think people in general take advantage of the ones they love and forget to really be nice and affectionate. I want to be more giving with the compliments and huges and less on the criticism.
- Enjoy the Moment: I need to be more happy with where I am. Enjoy the little moments good and bad that I have with my family. Laugh at the meltdowns and poopy diapers. Remember the smiles. and be thankful for what I have.

Well thats about all for now. As I type I'm listening to SOphia crying in her play gym and Elizabeth sitting on my lap pulling my hands away from the computer telling me she wants to sleep. Time to go be a mom. Hopefully I will write again tommorrow!!!!
gle Subject

Seriously need to Update

So I haven't written in a blog for about 10 months now and a lot has happened! I do plan on updating soon and cant wait to share my birth experience with Sophia.Hopefully a NEW blog will be up sometime this week. For now I have to go change a poopy diaper. see you soon!